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A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.

L: I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland.

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I always up before her.

L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: Polish Remover”. 🙂

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington
and meets president Barack Obama…

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say “How r u”.
Then Mr. Obama should say, ‘I am fine, and you?’ Now, you should say ‘me too’.    Afterwards we, translators, will do
the work for you.’

It looks quite simple, but the truth is…

When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said ‘Who r u?’ (Instead of ‘How r u?’.)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
‘Well, I’m Michelle’s husband, ha-ha…’

Then Mori replied ‘me too, ha-ha.. .’.

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

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